To save a life

Last Sunday, I was on my way home from church and lunch with a friend, and as I drove over a bridge, I saw what looked like a teenager sitting on the railing, something inside told me something just wasn't right. Long story short, I ended up saving the life of a young girl about to take her life. As I reflected later on during the week, honestly, I could remember a time not long ago, probably even less than two years ago, when I too thought life wasn't worth it at points.

This Friday night, I attended a women's event held by one of my favorite pastors, Sarah Jakes Roberts. When there was an altar call, and people flooded to the altar, I could feel the heaviness of the brokenness in the room, and as I prayed I felt in me that I would be in that room again one day but I would be the one leading it. There was a time when addiction, pain, and shame had stolen my voice and left me silent, and little by little, my voice is returning. In the past couple of months, as I've challenged myself to begin reading my Bible and to get on my knees and pray on a nightly basis, Gods began to speak to me and give me words that I think are important. I've also realized my preferred way recently to release some of these things are through writing. So that's why I'm here, many times the things I have to say are to long or not meant for Facebook so I thought a blog might be an excellent way to go. I don't know who will read it, but if it even reaches one and I helps them I would be grateful

God has brought me a mighty long way the past year, and sometimes it takes assisting someone through a place you've been, a conference or the people you love telling you, "There is something different about you" to help you realize that you aren't who you used to be. Honestly I'm not where I strive to be or desire to be in the future, but I'm nowhere near where I used to be.

There is a song on the radio that I hear on a daily basis called " dear younger me," and I listen to people talk about what they would change if they could go back, the question I've been asking myself is what I would say to those who are now in my shoes and that is how I want to end this post.

1. To the teenager who is searching, who feels like they have no one who knows or cares, You have someone who loves you more than you could imagine ( John 3;16) and knew you before you even stepped foot on this earth (Jeremiah 1:5). Also, there are people that love you, so reach out don't do it alone ( Ecclesiastes 1:9).

2. To the teenager who has found solace in the wrong things, you are never to far gone. There is a God that loves you no matter what you've done, and He is always waiting with arms wide. Also, there is no shame in what you've done. The people who love you will love you no matter what. For so long, I lived in fear, that if anyone ever knew what I was doing or what I had done, they would go running in the opposite direction. In the past four years, I've told my story one on one, and I've told my story in front of crowds, and so far no one has gone running in the opposite direction, yet

3. To the adult who has spent most of her life trapped in the chains of addiction, shame, and pain, it's never to late, no matter how long you've run God is still waiting with open arms. In the end, you will see God truly was working everything for your good. You might hear many people say, " I wouldn't change anything I've been through," and as I stand on the other side of many of my struggles, I can tell you the same it is all worth it in the end.